The Culture
of Honor

There was something else

Something that started as beautiful and became something else. I am talking about the culture of honor. The value we placed on respecting leaders, on submitting to authority, on creating an environment where God's presence could be welcomed.

It was not wrong. At least, not at first. But it went too far, and it cost us.

What it was supposed to be

Let me tell you what honor was supposed to look like. It was supposed to be about recognizing that God places leaders in the body for a reason. It was supposed to be about creating an atmosphere where God could move without disruption. It was supposed to be about submission to authority so that unity could be preserved.

The idea was this: when people come to worship, they need to be able to focus on God. That means not talking during the worship. It means not distracting others. It means respecting the leaders enough to trust the direction they are leading. It means creating space for God to move.

There is nothing wrong with any of that. Every church needs some level of order. Every worship environment benefits from people being on the same page. The culture of honor started as an attempt to create that kind of environment. And for a while, it worked.

What it became

But then it became something else. It became a wall that protected leaders from accountability. It became a tool for controlling people. It became a reason not to question what should have been questioned.

Here is how it worked. If you had a concern about a leader, you were not supposed to talk about it. That would be dishonor. If you saw something wrong, you were supposed to go to the leader directly, and if they did not agree with you, you were supposed to submit. If you kept pushing, you were the one with the problem. You were divisive. You were rebellious. You were not honoring the leadership.

This created a system where leaders could do almost anything and not be held accountable. Because anyone who raised a concern was labeled as having an honor problem. Anyone who questioned was labeled as divisive. The culture that was supposed to create unity became a culture that protected abuse.

The shadow side

I saw this happen to people. I saw people who asked questions being labeled as disrespectful. I saw people who had concerns being told they were not honoring the leadership. I saw people whose concerns were called a spirit issue.

Looking back, they were just asking for accountability. But in that culture, asking for accountability was dishonor. And that is a problem.

Here is the thing. Honor is supposed to be about recognizing the gift that God has placed in someone. It is not supposed to be about protecting that person from scrutiny. There is a difference between respecting someone's role and blindly defending everything they do. And we lost that difference.

What the Bible actually says

Let me tell you what the Bible actually says about this. Because it is not what we made it.

Paul wrote that the leaders of the church are to be respected. But he also wrote that the leaders will have to answer to God for how they lead. He wrote that we are to test everything and hold on to what is good. He wrote that even leaders can be wrong.

Notice: test the spirits. Not blindly accept them. Test them. And that applies to prophetic words and to leadership and to everything in between.

The Bible also tells us to hold leaders accountable. To examine their fruit. To not simply follow because they claim to speak for God. There is a place for questioning. There is a place for discernment. And we lost that when we made honor into a wall.

The balance we need

So what is the balance? How do we honor leaders without protecting them from accountability?

Here is how I see it. Honor means taking the role seriously. It means praying for leaders. It means giving them the benefit of the doubt when appropriate. It means not attacking them publicly or gossiping about them.

But honor does not mean silence when something is wrong. Honor does not mean compliance when something is harmful. Honor does not mean following someone off a cliff because they claim to speak for God.

True honor includes accountability. True honor includes testing. True honor includes the courage to say something when something is wrong, even when it is hard. And if your culture of honor cannot handle that, your culture of honor is broken.