The Rules They Did Not Give Us

Let me ask you something: where did you learn that drinking coffee in a church building was wrong?

Where did you learn that women should not wear pants? That Christians should not watch R-rated movies? That rock music is of the devil? That a woman showing her shoulders is immodest?

Nowhere in Scripture. You learned it from culture. From church. From parents. From traditions passed down so long they feel biblical. But they are not.

The Modesty Conversation Nobody Wants to Have

The word "modest" appears in Scripture exactly twice in the way we use it. And both times, it is about having a quiet and gentle spirit, not about hemlines.

That is not a clothing rule. That is a character rule. And the context is specifically about women in that passage. But here is what we did: we turned "gentle and quiet spirit" into "cover your shoulders." And we have been policing women wardrobes ever since.

Now, before you object: I am not saying there is no such thing as immodesty. I am saying that the modesty rules we have are often about control, not about Scripture. The standard changes by decade, by culture, by church. What was modest in 1950 is not modest now. What is modest in one church is scandalous in another. If it were actually biblical, it would not vary so much.

The Music Problem

There is an entire genre of Christian music dedicated to telling you which genre of music is wrong.

Rock is from the devil. Country is okay because it is wholesome. Contemporary is suspect. The drums are what killed the church in the 1970s. Now it is the electric guitar. Tomorrow it will be something else.

But here is what Scripture actually says about music: it is good. Sing. Make music. Play instruments. There is no genre that is forbidden. There is no style that is condemned. David played a lyre. The early church sang hymns and psalms. That is it.

What we call "worldly music" is just music we do not like. And we have made up a theology to explain why we do not like it.

The Blank Space

Here is what I want you to see: the Bible has a lot to say. And it has a lot it does not say.

The Bible talks about loving God, loving people, being honest, being kind, being holy, being different. It talks about sin, about redemption, about grace. It talks about how to treat each other, how to worship, how to live.

But it does not say: do not drink coffee in church. It does not say: women must wear skirts. It does not say: Christians cannot watch certain movies. It does not say: only this kind of music is acceptable.

Those are blank spaces. And we filled them with our own rules. And then we treated our rules like they are God rules. And that is a problem.

The Twist

Here is what nobody expects: the rules we make up often hurt the people who need Jesus most.

The person who is struggling, who walks into church and is immediately told their music is wrong, their clothes are wrong, their hair is wrong, their coffee habit is wrong. They came for God and got a dress code. And they leave.

We have made a faith that is about behavior modification instead of heart transformation. And it is not working. It is pushing people away from the very thing we say we want them to find.

Jesus said the most important things are loving God and loving people. Everything else hangs on those two. Maybe we should focus on that, and let the rest go.